In my presumption

Was reading in Numbers last week. I was struck by the parallels between Israel and myself when I disobey. In chapter 14, the report comes back from the promised land and the people react in fear about attacking the "giants" of the land. God eventually kills the people who brought the bad report, stirring up Israel, and Israel realizes her sin. God tells them the consequence will be no promised land for any of them (with the exception of those who had faith God would be able to what He said He would). "Nevertheless, in their presumption" they went out and tried to take on the Amalekites and Canaanites without God. Obviously, they were defeated and all of them died in the desert without ever seeing the promised land.

It's so hard not to "make up" for the mistakes I make. Often, when I confess disobedience, I try so hard to make it better on my own. I travel without God, trying to clear the way ahead to show Him I can do good things. What a waste of my time! I love the phrase "Nevertheless, in their presumption" because it describes perfectly my heart condition too much of the time! I think that can help God out or make the world recognize Him more in me (after I've diminished Him in my life) by doing things that bring Him glory. I so often miss the point. God's not looking for me to go out and find battles, He's looking for me to follow Him into battles. I need to watch myself and my presumption. I need to ask first; then follow.